VSOP: The New Order
- This is the trailer for a hypothetical mockumentary about language word order change.
DR. BRTFNKL: One influence on languages' basic word order is the brain's relative speed in recalling the agent, action, patient, and TAM of an event. This has at times been interpreted as a subject-object-verb language of thought (SOVLOT).
Background music begins: "Drug Ballad"
ANNOUNCER: In a world where even the water is full of drugs...
VIEWER #1: Oh wait that's right here.
ANNOUNCER: ...what they drink changes how they talk.
CHESTER (with raised hand): Ms. Swiftbottom, was Lottie me poking.
LOTTIE (pointing): Had you it started.
MS. SWIFTBOTTOM: I've seen more kids come in with their words jumbled up. They start with the helping verb and don't say the main verb until the end.
MS. TANGLETON: They seem to know when and who did something to whom before they can put a name on what's happening.
ANNOUNCER: It starts with an auxiliary, and it starts at home.
MR. PENNELLY: We bring in these kids' parents for parent-teacher conferences, and what do we find? Have been most of 'em liquor drinking ... Oops, now got they me it doing.
MS. TANGLETON: The one thing we've found in common is brandy. Five-year-old brandy.
MS. SWIFTBOTTOM: Hennessy VSOP.
DR. BRTFNKL: VSOP. Conjugated verb, subject, object, then predicate last. A mix of alcohol and substances soaked from the barrel change how mom and dad produce language, and their kids just think that's the normal way to talk.
MR. PENNELLY: Is it something to fix? Or do we just the new normal accept?
ANNOUNCER: V.S.O.P. The New Order.
- [ˈbɜ˞t̚.fŋ̩.kl̴̩], roughly "Bertfinkle". Family comes from where syllabic nasals and liquids are more common than vowels.
- "Representation, information theory and basic word order" by Luke Maurits
- "We used to mix Hen with Bacardi Dark / And when it kicks in you can hardly talk"
- "The Complicated Question of Drugs in the Water" by Leigh Boerner