The following are references for use in articles that have not yet been created. I intend to eventually use them in an article either here, on Wikipedia, or on All The Tropes. Links may be bare at first, especially when pasted in using a tablet, and some of the writing is inherently "sloppy".
No, Two and a Half Men is not about a poli living with two baseline humans. I am disappoint.
Why I have a strange feeling when cosplaying as a poli
On forgiveness: "Life is too short to quarrel." --"Little Never-upset" by Abbie Phillips Walker
There's a difference between impairment and disability. Sure, not having legs is an impairment. But if Spencer West hiked up Mount Kilimanjaro on his hands and Jennifer Bricker is a tumbling champion (video), how is it a disability?
Sir Douglas Bader of the (British) Royal Air Force was a flying ace during World War II, with 20 victories and four assists. Because of a double amputation (AK/BK), he could stay conscious longer during acceleration maneuvers because less blood would drain from his brain to his residual legs. It's sometimes claimed, based on fan interpretation of the box art of Star Fox for Super NES and the cover of the Nintendo Power magazine article featuring Star Fox, that members of the Star Fox team had legs amputated for the same reason. But there's no evidence for this amputation after Star Fox 64 rebooted continuity.
Does the existence of Sad Sam and Honey, Betsey Clark, etc. mean that Precious Moments Inc. has no monopoly on PMI style teardrop eyes?
To an extent, a big brain helps a species avoid extinction. (Nature, via Slashdot) But there is a limit to this. Babies are helpless because a newborn's brain has to fit through the hole in mommy's pelvis, which is as big as it can be without losing the ability to run. It's called the obstetric dilemma.
Owl monkey skulls have huge eye sockets to hold their huge eyes to see YOU in the dark. 
Tarsier eyes are huge too, as are those of several other species.
Large eyes have one drawback: Neanderthal man may have died out because their eyes were 6 mm bigger to collect more light in higher latitudes. These eyes' signals needed more neurons to process, taking brain power away from social grooming and engineering. (Proceedings of the Royal Society B, via BBC, via Slashdot)
Pop-Tarts toaster pastries in the hands of kids are deadly weapons. Try these homemade pastries similar to Pop-Tarts that don't make your head swell up like the virulent monstrosity that is heavily refined carbs.
"My First Trick" on "Precious Moments Make Me Puke" by Winklepots reminds me of a lyric from "Reptile" by Nine Inch Nails.
AuntieMeme's entry "You're my sugar daddy", which placed #4 in a Cracked Photoplasty about Valentine's Day greeting fails, shows a Precious Moments drawing of a girl serving tea. A comment by MissFluffyPants suggests that super-deformed characters' clothes fasten with a back zipper or buttons.
Reportedly, a hydrocephalic head filled with 10% brain and 90% cerebrospinal fluid can still think properly. 
- Some split to User:Tepples/world-building
At this point, given all the acai spam in the early days of Pin Eight wiki, figure out how to include blueberries and other similar plants that don't especially grow on trees. And work in "come" linking to these NAR posts: "Seedless, We Promise" and "Don't Make Me Clean Up This One".
About character names: "Mortimer isn't a name for a children's cartoon, it's a name for an old British guy or his pet tortoise." So the name Tortimer for the mayor in the first three Animal Crossing games seems especially apt.
This gecko is a walking advertisement for Tom Nook's store.
- Some split to User:Tepples/tablets
Back in the early days of Nintendo DS flash cards, SD card adapters didn't support SDHC and were thus limited to 2 GB cards. So people aren't entirely unjustified in preferring 2 GB cards.
Unity has its own synonym problem.
A few people on Slashdot suggested about seven alternate names for the paint program GIMP.
Some Slashdot users call cell phones a luxury. Others are more reasonable and recognize them as a necessity in the era of dwindling availability of public pay phones. However, Wayne Gladstone of Cracked is under the impression that voice calls shall be used only for the most urgent purposes, leaving texting for everything else. This means people in the industrialized world are expected to own mobile phones with at least a QWERTY keyboard, not land lines or 10-key flip phones, and to subscribe to a mobile phone plan without an excessive fee to send and receive text messages. And providers of web-based services from Google to Facebook to Yahoo! are demanding that users hand over a unique mobile phone number that can receive SMS. Some impose this as a condition of signing up in the first place (Yahoo!), others as a condition of continued use of an account after a certain period of time (the Facebook "roadblock"), others as a condition of adding more privileges to an existing user account (Google's Gmail and Facebook's verified status, which providers using Facebook login can see). This fails for land line users and for households whose members share a mobile phone.
Say you buy a voice-only SIM from AT&T Mobility and plan to use cellular voice and Wi-Fi data but no cellular data. But if you put that SIM in a device with a smartphone's IMEI, AT&T's terms of service describe a "standard practice" of cramming a data plan onto your bill. (Joel Runyon, via Slashdot) But there are some MVNOs that don't cram in this way, and it's rumored (but not yet reliably verified) that one method of activating service on AT&T prevents the cramming.
Team Fortress 2 has hats. Lots of them.
Out of context
Quote-mining to comically miss the point:
"Spinal Tap sucks."
Pet raccoons (Here kitty!)
Fu Go: Japan got balloon fever during WWII (and I don't mean gay): bomb-carrying balloons. (This makes Thwaite unintentional truth in television.) But on the other hand, hot air balloons are "totally gay anyway".
Citation needed that Monster.com will have jobs. (#2)
A pixie's brain is so small it can't hold more than one emotion at once (source: Peter and Wendy). To what extent does this apply to similarly-sized Lilliputians? In any case, chickens are the same way.
Things to dispute: wikipedia:Talk:AC#not_asserted_in_articles
Sparlock the Warrior Wizard from episode 2 of Become Jehovah's Friend, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, has nothing to do with the interlocking concrete blocks of the Sparlock Building System. Yet one of Cracked's 5 Shockingly Advanced Ancient Buildings That Shouldn't Exist is almost as advanced as Sparlock.
How a 3 ton elephant seal moves: YouTube
Video games and the Internet are all that kids have nowadays other than sitting on the couch and watching TV. Let your kids play outside while you watch, and you may get arrested for child endangerment.
Not everybody has the same luck with a rice and beans diet as Dave Ramsey.
The character Norma Desmond, a fictional silent film star in Sunset Boulevard, is known for expressing emotions with her eyes. But humans aren't alone in this capability; canids (wolves, etc.) do it as well. Japanese researchers found a correlation between visibility of eyes and social behavior: species with light irises tend to hunt in packs. In canids, contrast between the iris and pupil helps members of a pack follow each other's gaze. In humans, the white sclera performs the same function.
- Jeanna Bryner. "No Sex Required: Women Have Orgasms at the Gym". Discovery News, 2012-03-19. Accessed 2012-10-21.
- Steph. "Photoshop Fail: 15 Hilariously Botched Images". WebUrbanist, 2009-12-07. Accessed 2012-10-28.
- Andrew Heaton. "5 Disturbing Details You Didn't Notice in Famous Video Games". Cracked, 2014-03-25. Accessed 2014-03-25.
- Bnoob. "Comment to Another 'star fox are amputees' post but with a twist!". Reddit, 2013-02-23. Accessed 2014-03-25.
- Michael Balter. "Infants' Flexible Heads Stretch Back Millions of Years". ScienceNOW, 2012-05-07. Accessed 2012-10-21.
- Adam Wears, Mike Lamb. "8 Terrifying Skeletons of Adorable Animals". Cracked, 2011-04-12. Accessed 2012-10-21.
- Luis Prada. "The 3 Most Insane Overreactions by School Security". Cracked, 2013-03-21. Accessed 2013-03-21.
- "Two-ingredient Chocolate Pop-Tarts for the Holidays". Shine, 2012-11-21. Accessed 2013-03-21.
- Evan V. Symon, Isaac Cabe, Andrew Heaton. "7 Normal Things That Become Horror Movies Under a Microscope". Cracked, 2014-03-14. Accessed 2014-03-16.
- Jim Davis. "ga030210". Garfield, 2003-02-10. Accessed 2014-08-17. Via Square Root of Minus Garfield #1916 "Spacious Garfield II".)
- Fireplug et al. "If Everything Was Made by Apple #1". 2011-02-09. Accessed 2014-08-17.
- Random eBay photo of Little People Sarah Lynn Learn to Dress Doll
- Roger Lewin. "Is Your Brain Really Necessary?". Science, vol. 210, 1980-12-12. Accessed 2014-09-11. Via Slashdot
- Evan V. Symon. "5 Iconic Pop Culture Moments Improvised at the Last Second". Cracked, 2012-05-21. Accessed 2012-10-21.
- Monte Richard, E. Reid Ross. "The 8 Most Mind Blowing Disguises in Nature". Cracked, 2012-04-05. Accessed 2012-10-21.
- "Revenge Is A Disk Best Servered Code". Not Always Right, 2013-03. Accessed 2013-04-10.
- "Can’t Get A Number In Edgewise". Not Always Right, 2012-09. Accessed 2012-10-23.
- Gladstone, W. "5 Ways Hotels Have Changed for the Worse". Cracked, 2014-04-06. Accessed 2014-04-06.
- John Cheese. "5 Pieces of Advice Your Dad Gave You (That Are Total B.S.)". Cracked, 2014-06-19. Accessed 2014-06-20.
- Monte Richard. "The 6 Real and Terrifying Spider Superpowers". Cracked, 2012-09-22. Accessed 2012-11-12.
- Felix Clay. "4 Situations When You're Totally Supposed to Lie". Cracked, 2013-03-16. Accessed 2013-03-16.
- XJ Selman. "5 Scientific Reasons You're Better Off Being Unattractive". Cracked, 2012-08-04. Accessed 2013-03-16.
- Chan Teik Onn. "5 Things Everyone Did Growing Up (That Now Get You Arrested)". Cracked, 2013-09-01. Accessed 2013-09-02.
- Robert Evans et al. "5 Ways Growing Up Inside Scientology Was a Nightmare". Cracked, 2014-01-21. Accessed 2014-01-22.
- Nick Stockton. "Wolves Might Use Their Eyes to Talk to Each Other". Wired', 2014-06-23. Accessed 2014-06-23.